Unflawlesslife

Midweek Cleaning Frenzy!  It’s been so long since I got a buzz out of cleaning but this week something seems to have clicked into place. I have been cleaning windows, scrubbing decking, organising cupboards, hoovering, dusting, washing floors and washing clothes like a woman possessed. I know I sound incredibly dull and boring to discuss the pleasures of housework but please bare with me (grrrrrr....I hope you’re  bearing with me?) Wow second coffee kicking in. The thing is for so long I’ve been unable to do often the most simple things I took for granted. I would start hoovering a room then find half way through I needed to sit down and have a sleep. I would put myself under immense pressure to achieve an unachievable tidy house. Did I mention I have three wonderful but messy children, a 3 year old boxer and a destructive rabbit? I found the less I could do the more hung up I became about the slightest mess. Not only was I having to deal with being a busy mum I had this unwelcome g

The grumpy cloud has lifted..... I hope   On starting this blog I had a swell of positivity. I really have very little clue what I’m doing and know that it is very unlikely many people, if any will read my ramblings however I felt good for at least starting it. I could also quickly recognise the benefit of structuring my thoughts and putting them down on paper.  Then a cloud appeared. I felt irritable, frustrated and my thoughts came as spikey little thrones that only served to worsen the way I felt. Nothing in particular changed, no bad event  all that altered was my perception and tolerance of the world around me. I realise that this is fact may be the hardest thing about blogging. Overcoming my own desire to shut down and internalise my thoughts and feelings. It becomes all too easy to become wrapped up in our own thoughts and perceptions of events around us. I dwell and let the small insignificant things take hold and overwhelm me. I was once taught an interesting technique. Im

The house is unnervingly quite for this time of morning. Summer holidays have began and this may possibly be the kids having a lay in at last.  I did role over at 7am to find my son snuggled in beside me but he just smiled that most handsome of smiles, rolled over and went back to sleep. This gives me the rare opportunity to come downstairs and enjoy my coffee in silence. Well almost but I don’t count the ticking of the clock and the snores emanating from the dog bed. This, for me, is a good start to the day. It allows my brain time to start up, ponder the jobs of the day and then find a suitable rhythm to trundle through what lies ahead. Too often I wake to my brain racing, each thought coming faster than the next. A run down of the tasks in need of completion, an anxiety filled review of tasks which should have already have been done but lie in wait. Having been diagnosed with ME a few years back I have been forced to look at my life through a magnifying glass. To analyse every emot

Here we go..... 1st July2018 a new adventure awaits! My life is a constant attempt at making things flawless.  My makeup, diet, hair, kids behaviour or my home. The problem is it never is. Why do I strive for something unobtainable? This blog will detail some of my daily struggles, achievements and failures.  I want to use this blog as a therapy for myself and hopefully a help for other people to highlight the pressure we put on ourselves to create a flawless life.