Midweek Cleaning Frenzy!
It’s been so long since I got a buzz out of cleaning but this week something seems to have clicked into place. I have been cleaning windows, scrubbing decking, organising cupboards, hoovering, dusting, washing floors and washing clothes like a woman possessed. I know I sound incredibly dull and boring to discuss the pleasures of housework but please bare with me (grrrrrr....I hope you’re bearing with me?) Wow second coffee kicking in. The thing is for so long I’ve been unable to do often the most simple things I took for granted. I would start hoovering a room then find half way through I needed to sit down and have a sleep. I would put myself under immense pressure to achieve an unachievable tidy house. Did I mention I have three wonderful but messy children, a 3 year old boxer and a destructive rabbit? I found the less I could do the more hung up I became about the slightest mess. Not only was I having to deal with being a busy mum I had this unwelcome guest in my body making every day feel like I was wading through treacle. And how did I respond to this? I bullied myself daily. I set myself impossible task lists and my thoughts would descend into a barrage of abuse about how awful I was and how I was failing everyone around me. Why do we do this too ourselves? We are all aware of and many people have unfortunately been subject to bullying at some point in their life. Bullying in any form is a despicable blite on humanity. So why do we do it to ourselves? We show ourselves so little compassion and understanding when we are struggling or going through a hard time. If a close friend came to us in tears and feeling distraught would we feel anger towards them, criticise them and tell them how useless and pathetic they were? I hope not as they probably wouldn’t consider us a friend to be honest. Yet all too often this is how we treat ourselves. One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn is to be more kind, patient and compassionate with myself. My house is untidy, my walls show the marks of three rambunctious kids running riot, my laundry basket is never empty for more than ten minutes, my face is wrinkled, my hair frizzy, my belly jiggles but I’m me. I try my hardest, I love my family with every cell in my body, l feel my heart swell when my kids hug me or give me a smile, I try to be kind and friendly to everyone I meet and be helpful but I am flawed. But who isn’t. This blog is an attempt to celebrate and make light of my imperfections and to help change my internal monologue. In doing so I hope if anyone else reads it they too might recognise similar traits and be a little kinder to themselves. Take time in your thoughts to say yay well done. You did a good job. Ok maybe that didn’t quite work out as planned but you tried. I'm not quite at the stage of woohoo your awesome but hay ho nobody’s perfect x
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