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In a better frame of mind.

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The grumpy cloud has lifted..... I hope   On starting this blog I had a swell of positivity. I really have very little clue what I’m doing and know that it is very unlikely many people, if any will read my ramblings however I felt good for at least starting it. I could also quickly recognise the benefit of structuring my thoughts and putting them down on paper.  Then a cloud appeared. I felt irritable, frustrated and my thoughts came as spikey little thrones that only served to worsen the way I felt. Nothing in particular changed, no bad event  all that altered was my perception and tolerance of the world around me. I realise that this is fact may be the hardest thing about blogging. Overcoming my own desire to shut down and internalise my thoughts and feelings. It becomes all too easy to become wrapped up in our own thoughts and perceptions of events around us. I dwell and let the small insignificant things take hold and overwhelm me. I was once taught an interesting...
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The house is unnervingly quite for this time of morning. Summer holidays have began and this may possibly be the kids having a lay in at last.  I did role over at 7am to find my son snuggled in beside me but he just smiled that most handsome of smiles, rolled over and went back to sleep. This gives me the rare opportunity to come downstairs and enjoy my coffee in silence. Well almost but I don’t count the ticking of the clock and the snores emanating from the dog bed. This, for me, is a good start to the day. It allows my brain time to start up, ponder the jobs of the day and then find a suitable rhythm to trundle through what lies ahead. Too often I wake to my brain racing, each thought coming faster than the next. A run down of the tasks in need of completion, an anxiety filled review of tasks which should have already have been done but lie in wait. Having been diagnosed with ME a few years back I have been forced to look at my life through a magnifying glass. To analyse every ...
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Easy like Sunday morning x

The clocks may have changed but my body has not yet realised that there is no point in waking up at 5am every morning, including Sunday. As hard as I try my brain will not allow me to get back to sleep when I realise the time. Yes Sunday is a day off, of sorts but it is also the last chance to get everything done before another week begins.  I started a new job at the end of September and although it is part time it has taken me a while to get used to the constant juggling act of taking care of a family, a home and a job. I gave up my job 12 years ago to concentrate on my babies and although I dabbled in various ventures I had the privilege to concentrate all my time and efforts on my family. Having three children is an expensive business and child care costs can make working counterintuitive. I also had this determination to be the one who looked after my own children. I didn’t want to share that responsibility with anyone else except my husband. Now I realise not everyone has th...
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